Gemma in the Actress and Bishop

About two hours after going to bed I was woken by somebody whose password wasn't working. After an hour it sorted itself and I tried to go back to sleep.

Later I met Tim and Gemma for a very nice dinner and cocktails in the Country Girl. Joe and Phil joined us for orange squashes. Several cocktails later and after cruelly mocking Dan because he had to go to work, we headed towards Moseley and to the Bulls Head. I was hoping I might bump into Emma but it wasn't to be.

We met up with a few people in The Cross (where Phil bumped into the other Emma) but I didn't really enjoy that as there was no music. Tim lost quite badly at the counting to 20 game.

Then Joe, Tim, Myself and Gemma travelled to the Custard Factory to see Mr Scruff do a seven hour DJ set, this understandably went on a bit, but the last half hour was really cool. Gemma and I were salsa dancing, Joe and Tim tried but didn't have the moves.

Dan picked us up from the Custard Factory and we all went back to his for more booze. Luckily no-one phoned me from work.

Joshua woke me early, excited as he was going on holiday. I was feeling groggy and relieved that nobody had tried to call me out. After seeing Joshua off, Dan called and asked me to come around to see the holiday snaps. I suggested getting a bit of culture and took Dan, Tim and Gemma to the Birmingham Art Gallery and looked at depressing pictures about unrequited love and death, Tim learned how to write rude things in heiroglyphics and I drew a nice picture of Dan.

After the culture, food and wine was required. We shared a very lovely bottle at the German wine festival and then ate in the Moat House by the Canal where Richard joined us. We moved on to the Tap and Spile where the landlord was belittling one of his staff. Joe joined the troop and Richard left as we moved to the Sunflower Lounge.

I started to feel very tired, everyone else was getting more and more drunk but I had to stay soberish and was knackered. We gatecrashed somebodies private party, Gemma spilt her drink down herself and kept poking me, Dan was on the pull and Tim and Joe were dancing to very strange music. I wanted to sleep.

After the Sunflower Lounge closed Dan was trying to get people to go to the Godskitchen but it was falling on deaf ears. We had a couple of glasses of wine back a Dans and I left about four.

Tim and Gemma came to Birmingham. Friday night was spent in The Actress and Bishop, there was a free beer promotion and everyone in the pub seemed to be rat arsed. I was on call so was switching between soft and alcoholic drinks as not to get too drunk.

A very drunk James was telling me of his foolproof plan to pull women. He would pretend to be a bodyguard. I'm not convinced that this will work. Some rather rude woman told Dan his hair was outdated and then asked Phil if he was Dan's dad.

Gemma told us of her love of Chinese Burns. Joe lost at mercy and Gemma, I think, was just using it as an excuse to hold my hand. ;)

After the pub shut we went to the Taj Mahal Tandoori, not the nicest of balti houses (blood stains on the wall and dried sick on the toilet door) but you could buy more drink. Returning to the Dan's house I finally got home about half five.

Anybody looking for a hostel in Valencia should stay at Home Hostel it is in a lovely old church building, in a perfect location for some fantastic bars and cafes, has cool staff and a lovely roof terrace.

The rest of the holiday was far more chilled, Taragonna was a nice place and we stayed in fairly nice hotel overlooking the sea. Barcelona was Barcelona, Dan and Leigh didn't like Bar Tequilla as much as Joe and I had the previous year. Watching the cricket with a load of Aussies was enjoyable. I didn't want to come home.

The whole holiday was fantastic and its all down to the people who went, I thank you all.

The peak of the holiday, I persuaded everyone (except Richard) to go to the water park, the slides were very fast and scary, I especially didn't like the open air one that felt like a sheer drop. Gemma lost her disposable camera but thats probably a good thing because she had only taken pictures of me topless on it.

The Benicassim Beach Party was for me the highlight of the festival, we popped bottles of fizzy wine all night and I spent most of it in the sea.

This was the first time that I had a hangover, I spent the day lying on my airbed ordering people to fetch things for me. I ventured out to get a pizza which made me feel pretty terrible. I shared a glass of cava with Gemma and then everyone left me to go and see the Wedding Present.

A snooze and a couple more glasses of cava and I was half ready to hit the festival. I got there as Nick Cave was about to start. I liked the first song he did but the others weren't as interesting so I headed off to see Roisin Murphy who was the best thing I had seen that weekend.

I met up with the gang whilst Oasis were playing, Tim was having some sort of bad trip and went home pretty quickly afterwards. Everyone wanted to go and see Kasabian except me so decided I should explore the other tents. The first one I entered was just noise (as Paul and Kerry would say) some young lads with expensive keyboards and samplers not playing a tune, I saw at least three people with fingers in ears. Next I went to see Mathew Herbert who made me dance with his cool banging tunes. Finally I chanced upon a tent playing ska which was full of young ladies in bikinis doing the conga, which I couldn't resist.

Later on the LCD Soundsytem played and the first song was terrible completely out of tune. After that they ironed out the gremlins and played a blinder.

That was the end of the festival proper.

Nobody would get up and play, they all had hangovers, I was ready to hit the beach at 8.30 am. I persuaded Gemma and she was ready not long after. About midday Tim, Leigh and Edward had woken up and washed. Then at some point during the next two hours everyone except Dan was ready. Finally by about three we all ready. Dan then wanted to go to the supermarket and spent about fourty five minutes purchasing a jar of olives. Eventually we hit the beach and this time a much quieter spot but with just as many pretty ladies.

About six Gemma said she wanted to see the Kaiser Chiefs, so She, Tim and I went to eat. After some very nice tapas and some black pudding we were ready.

The Kaiser Chiefs were suprisingly entertaining and very energetic. Over the next hour or two we avoided Keane by sitting on the grass drinking two pint jugs of beer. The Lemonheads on the main stage were really Evan Dando, half the songs he sang on his own and half were his solo songs. Joe, Tim and I thought he was really good but Leigh and Dan have no taste.

During Dinosaur Jr I discovered that I had lost my wallet again this time with several hundred euros in it. Luckily some Irish lads had spotted Tim looking and were honest enough to return it to me. It was an expensive round but I think I drank the majority of it because they kept topping up my jug.

The rest of the night is a blur, I was exceedingly drunk, a band called Radio 4 came on but I dont think they were very good. I wandered home with Richard and we were having a conversation back at the tent when he stopped mid sentence asleep.

Everyone headed off to the beach but I was feeling quite bad tempered and hot and bothered after a night of no sleep so decided to try as many cafes in Benicassim as possible. Joe (hungover) joined me and we spent the day watching attractive ladies.

After a nice nap and drinking a few beers at the campsite Joe, Leigh and I took a leisurely walk to the festival site just in time for Yo La Tengo who played lots of slow songs very quietly and a couple of fast songs very loudly. I dont think the others were that impressed but I thought they were good.

The Cure were crap but Peaches ROCKS!!! Leigh thought she was too much like Tina Turner and went back to the dreary The Cure. Joe thought Peaches was coming to get him and was most worried.

Joe, Richard and I were hot and flustered after peaches so needed to sit down whilst we watched Basement Jaxx from the big screen. Richard said he was most impressed with the big ladies. The others (except Edward who was chasing ladies) went down to watch from the front.

The Doves were the nights closing band and were as usual very good and after the previous nights' excess too tired to techno.

After a day of relaxing on the Beach, Tim, Gemma, Dan, Leigh and I ate tapas and were entertained by Star Wars in spanish as performed by baloon modellers. The evening is hazy but remember leaving Richard, Joe and Edward to go and get some food and we headed off to see the Polyphonic Spree

The Polyphonic Spree were excellent and I am still humming their songs as I type. At the time I was thinking that maybe there was no point in watching any other bands as they were so good.

The Tears came on next and were very poor.

Dan was happy because he had found a vegetarian falafel stall..

I hadn't had very much to drink and was reasonably sober but there is something hypnotic about Underworld's music that makes you want to dance euphorically. Some of the others decided to take chemicals but I was feeling pretty euphoric so didn't see the point.

The last act of the night were Optimo DJs which was just like a family disco and great fun, I had planned to go back to my tent after Underworld but I was far too merry to be doing that. The two DJs were dragged off stage at about 6.30 and the next thing we saw were the two scotsmen running back on the stage to pull moons whilst being chased by security guards

Today was all about sun, sea, sand and beer. Benicassim has a beach bar that plays techno music from sunup to sundown and sells litres of beer and litres of sangria. Joe was in heaven, he lay on the beach watching topless ladies and occasionally rolled over to sip more sangria out of his straw.

Dan was on the pull, he spent the entire day with his hand across his shoulder which resulted in him having a sunburned handprint on his back.

We met the Sarah the waitress from Sheffield again, she told us that we were like characters from a sitcom. She said this was a complement but I'm not so sure.

After hours on the beach it was time to get some food, Dan had a hissy fit because vegetarianism in Spain is, as the waitress put it, 'not normal'. After refueling it was time to hit the town. The square with all the bars was very crowded and quite noisy, After a beer or five Joe, Leigh and Richard headed back to the tent leaving the rest of us to party on.

We had barely set up camp when the ginger turned up. Nobody acknowledged her but she made her way into my tent all the same. We decided to head off to the beach, Victoria said that she would like to stay and read her book. It was clear that this whole situation wouldn't work and Dan voluntered to tell her to get lost. Using all his charm he did so.

Off we went to the beach worrying whether we would have a tent to return to. I personally thought that she would still be at the tent when we returned.

The beach was lovely, the sun was setting but it was still warm. After several hours we decided to head back.

Victoria was gone. I was knackered and headed off to bed. The others went to get some food. I was woken around three with the sound of Leigh smashing the spinny thing that had kept us amused for so long in Valencia.

Horror of all horror. Victoria. Waiting. Instead of ignoring her my pain in the arse of a brother decided to say hello. There was no way of avoiding her now.

Leigh, Dan and Richard headed off to the station to make there ways to Benicassim. Joe headed off to collect the hire car. Edward and I waited with all the bags. Victoria waited too. Joe got lost and took several hours to find us. In this time Victoria did not say a word to me. Considering that it was my tent she was intending on sleeping in this was making me more an more unhappy about her being there.

When Joe arrived it was very clear that a fouth passenger was out of the question but Victoria still attempted to get herself in the Car. After several attempts at rearranging the car I told her politely to piss off. She looked miserable and trudged off to the station. I thought that was the last we would see of her.

The lovely dreadlocked girl on reception found my wallet.

Joe, Edward and I spent several hours in a department store. I bought some very nice swimming trunks perfect for our 'English Abroad' holiday (I did consider burberry ones but thought they were too tacky). We bought some excellent steak and cooked a hearty meal at the hostel. The others had met up with Gemma and Tim and then spent the day at the beach.

More drinking on the roof terrace this time in a thunderstorm.

We met another strange person called Victoria. She introduced herself and then said 'Are you going to Benicassim? Can I stay in your tent?' Idiot Joe shouted out 'Richard has a big tent, you can stay there'. Thank you Joe. We made our excuses, I was hoping that she was drunk and would forget the coversation the next day.

We met Tim and Gemma in the cider bar and quickly got them aquainted with the cider jugs, Gemma cheated. The enthusiastic gay germans were back in the cider bar but this time they were the very tactile enthusiastic gay germans. After too much cider I couldn't resist the absinthe but was sober enough to realise that one was enough.

Radio City was having a free sangria promotion so Joe insisted that we went. I met up with some girls who I had been talking to earlier in the day. It turned out that one worked in an office next door to my own. Joe thought that I needed some help, he stood next to them looking very drunk. They made a quick escape to the toilet, one of them returning to ask me to dance. I tried the gin that they were drinking and thought it was the most disgusting I have ever tasted.

Joe seemed to sober up a bit later and came back to have a conversation about childrens television. We walked back to the hostel with the girls and arranged very loosely to meet at the Benicassim water park.