Even though I had been out every night since Thursday and it was Monday, I really didn't feel like stopping in. I had read that the Test Icicles were playing at the Barfly and Mando Diaowere playing at the Bar Academy. I asked Joe, Phil and Ben if they fancied a gig but were either feeling too tired, feeling too old or otherwise too occupied to come out.
I had the choice of sitting at home alone or going out on my own. Having quite enjoyed the Test Icicles single I figured what the hell and decided to go to the Barfly.
On the bus into town I drank two large bottles of a cheapo Budweiser substitute and listened to some teenage girls shouting about all the different teenage boys that they had 'peiced'. I felt sick when I got off. I still had another cheapo lager to drink whilst walking to the venue. I had most of of it left when I arrived and was about to discard it when some lads standing outside drinking cans shouted at me to come and join them. One of them had told me that he had seen the band before and that they were crap but he tried to support live music and that is why he was going to watch them again. His mate then piped up telling him that he was a lying **** and the only reason he was there was because he was chasing a girl who didn't fancy him. Unrequited love, that's a good enough reason to go anywhere.
My youthful looks convinced the barmaid in the Barfly that I was underage and she requested to see some ID. I thought this amusing, I had no ID but she served me anyway. I texted Joe, Ben and Gemma telling them this. Ben wanted to know if I was trying to get in the Bingo, Joe wondered if they were checking to see which registers I was currently on and Gemma sent this message back: 'Ha Ha Ha!'.
There were three bands playing, the first was called Deluka from Birmingham, they were very tight and had a pretty singer with quite a nice voice but I didn't find them that interesting, they sounded too much like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
The second band Killa Kela blew me away and I had a huge grin on my face throughout their set. They had a keyboard player, a turntablist, the best human beatbox I have heard, a very very attractive singer, a drummer and a rapper that reminded me of a young Shaun Ryder. Some of there stuff sounded like Senser, some of it was straight up hip hop and some of it was a bit drum'n'bass. It was all very good. They even had audience participation.
The Test Icicles were very drunk when they arrived on stage. All three members had a go at singing (screaming), all three had a go at making a lot of noise with the two guitars they owned and they were a bit naff really. But what they lacked in talent they more than made up for in pure energy. I think it was a bit intense for some people as they were leaving in their droves before the end, I don't know what they were expecting from a band that described their music as 'Spaz-Core'. The last song saw the rapper and human beatboxer from the previous band come on and do an impromptu jam. Quite Strange.
I think I made the right decision going out, staying in sucks! ;)
Monday, October 31, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
A Quiet Weekend - Part Three
I was awoken by my work mobile going off. Luckily it was regarding an application that I dont have to support at the weekend so I kindly told the person on the other end to piss off.
As I was awake and the sun was shining I decided to go to Stratford-upon-Avon where I could have a walk by the river, see Shakespeare's house and grave and drink a beer whilst watching boats. It was a fairly pleasant way to spend a day, it would have been better had I had somebody with me (although I have memories of wasting a sunny day arguing with Rebecca in Stratford).
Later I arranged to meet Joe in the Bulls Head in Moseley, Phil and James were already there. Dan came too. There were lots of lovely ladies dancing, the music was hit and miss but mostly it hit. James and Phil looked bored out of there brains. I wasn't drinking, I had had a couple of glasses of champagne earlier in the evening and was feeling happy and mellowed out, much like I had on the nights in Benicassim where I had decided not to get drunk.
It was all too much for James and Phil, the music was too loud, they couldn't hear themselves speak and the beer was awful. We had to leave to go to Patrick Kavagnah pub around the corner. This was very busy, too busy. The lovely ladies were replaced by mature ladies and the music you couldn't hear. My mood didn't change that much I was still quite mellow but was also a little bored.
Dan got chatting to some women (as he does) who liked his mop, they were going to the Moseley Dance Centre. The idea to follow them was quickly discounted. Joe wanted to go to the Tap and Spile. That idea was also quickly discounted. There was suggestion to go to the Actress and Bishop but James said the doors were shut at eleven. Dan said he wanted to go to see a live hip hop act. Nobody else could be bothered.
The evening sort of petered out, Joe complained that Dan and I would lose our legendary party animal titles if we were to go home early but nobody had any real ideas on what to do and so shortly after closing time we caught a taxi home and I went to bed.
As I was awake and the sun was shining I decided to go to Stratford-upon-Avon where I could have a walk by the river, see Shakespeare's house and grave and drink a beer whilst watching boats. It was a fairly pleasant way to spend a day, it would have been better had I had somebody with me (although I have memories of wasting a sunny day arguing with Rebecca in Stratford).
Later I arranged to meet Joe in the Bulls Head in Moseley, Phil and James were already there. Dan came too. There were lots of lovely ladies dancing, the music was hit and miss but mostly it hit. James and Phil looked bored out of there brains. I wasn't drinking, I had had a couple of glasses of champagne earlier in the evening and was feeling happy and mellowed out, much like I had on the nights in Benicassim where I had decided not to get drunk.
It was all too much for James and Phil, the music was too loud, they couldn't hear themselves speak and the beer was awful. We had to leave to go to Patrick Kavagnah pub around the corner. This was very busy, too busy. The lovely ladies were replaced by mature ladies and the music you couldn't hear. My mood didn't change that much I was still quite mellow but was also a little bored.
Dan got chatting to some women (as he does) who liked his mop, they were going to the Moseley Dance Centre. The idea to follow them was quickly discounted. Joe wanted to go to the Tap and Spile. That idea was also quickly discounted. There was suggestion to go to the Actress and Bishop but James said the doors were shut at eleven. Dan said he wanted to go to see a live hip hop act. Nobody else could be bothered.
The evening sort of petered out, Joe complained that Dan and I would lose our legendary party animal titles if we were to go home early but nobody had any real ideas on what to do and so shortly after closing time we caught a taxi home and I went to bed.
Friday, October 28, 2005
A Quiet Weekend - Part Two
I woke up at twenty past nine, still drunk, stinking of booze. I had no time for a shower or breakfast and only just caught the train in time for work. Feeling utterly awful most of the morning the only thing for it was to go for a full english breakfast and strong coffee at lunchtime. This made me feel wired.
After work I couldn't be bothered to cook and bought Pizza and a bottle of wine which I shared with Dan. Both of us were feeling very lethargic. We phoned people around and they were either going to the Country Girl or staying in. About ten we mustered enough energy to meet people in Selly Oak. I had a couple more glasses of red wine and a closing time went home and to bed.
After work I couldn't be bothered to cook and bought Pizza and a bottle of wine which I shared with Dan. Both of us were feeling very lethargic. We phoned people around and they were either going to the Country Girl or staying in. About ten we mustered enough energy to meet people in Selly Oak. I had a couple more glasses of red wine and a closing time went home and to bed.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
A Quiet Weekend - Part One
I couldn't spend another night sat staring at the four walls on my own. I tried to persuade Dan to go for last orders but he suggested having a few beers around his house instead. Figuring that was the best offer I was going to get I went and bought a bottle of red.
After finishing the bottle Dan decided he wanted to go and look at girls. He, Ben and I took a swift walk to the Country Girl and had couple of beers whilst watching ladies.
As last orders had been called and I was on call duty at work, I decided to go home and have an reasonably early night. A minute or two after walking through the door I was bombarded with phone calls and bangs on the door inviting me for another beer. Being weak willed I didn't refuse. Strong red wine followed. Before I knew it, the time was stupidly very late for a school night o'clock
This kind of thing happened with a high level of frequency between 1995 and 1998.
After finishing the bottle Dan decided he wanted to go and look at girls. He, Ben and I took a swift walk to the Country Girl and had couple of beers whilst watching ladies.
As last orders had been called and I was on call duty at work, I decided to go home and have an reasonably early night. A minute or two after walking through the door I was bombarded with phone calls and bangs on the door inviting me for another beer. Being weak willed I didn't refuse. Strong red wine followed. Before I knew it, the time was stupidly very late for a school night o'clock
This kind of thing happened with a high level of frequency between 1995 and 1998.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Tim and His Big Wood
Tim said he is thinking of purchasing a wood, Dan thinks it might be to hide bodies in.
I put this to Tim he said that he could indeed bury bodies in it.
Joe's Favourite Miserable Poem
Joe said that this is his favourite miserable poem, its by A E Housman
Into my heart an air that kills
From yon far country blows:
What are those blue remembered hills,
What spires, what farms are those?
This is the land of lost content,
I see it shining plain.
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.
Into my heart an air that kills
From yon far country blows:
What are those blue remembered hills,
What spires, what farms are those?
This is the land of lost content,
I see it shining plain.
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Dan and The Rainbow
Dan said to me that he liked The Rainbow because most people in there were around about the same age as him. He then said that in five years time we would need to find somewhere else to go and get pissed because we would be too old to drink in there.
This got me thinking.
I'd rather not go to the places where older people get pissed because Stephen, Joe, Phil et al have been taking me to them for the last several years and I don't much like them.
And.
I'm starting to feel that I'd rather not go out and get smashed full stop, especially after this weekend.
I felt really shit all day Sunday and thought that I might throw up at any second. I was a little fed up in the house watching rubbish TV so phoned several people for just for a chat. Phil said that he fancied a beer and as I was alone I agreed to meet him thinking if I said half nine I would only have time for a couple (with Sunday closing). But no, I had time for six pints and then more time to go back to his house for whiskey.
I don't quite know how I got up for work this morning or quite know how I managed to last the five hours before finally conceding defeat and using my flexitime to take myself home to bed.
I can't possibly say that I didn't enjoy my weekend, seeing Emma, dancing with random girls, gatecrashing parties, drinking blue stuff, getting into nightclubs for free, hearing Phil moaning about women and all the rest was really enjoyable. But this evening I am feeling that there is something lacking in my life at the moment and no its not just a woman. ;)
This got me thinking.
I'd rather not go to the places where older people get pissed because Stephen, Joe, Phil et al have been taking me to them for the last several years and I don't much like them.
And.
I'm starting to feel that I'd rather not go out and get smashed full stop, especially after this weekend.
I felt really shit all day Sunday and thought that I might throw up at any second. I was a little fed up in the house watching rubbish TV so phoned several people for just for a chat. Phil said that he fancied a beer and as I was alone I agreed to meet him thinking if I said half nine I would only have time for a couple (with Sunday closing). But no, I had time for six pints and then more time to go back to his house for whiskey.
I don't quite know how I got up for work this morning or quite know how I managed to last the five hours before finally conceding defeat and using my flexitime to take myself home to bed.
I can't possibly say that I didn't enjoy my weekend, seeing Emma, dancing with random girls, gatecrashing parties, drinking blue stuff, getting into nightclubs for free, hearing Phil moaning about women and all the rest was really enjoyable. But this evening I am feeling that there is something lacking in my life at the moment and no its not just a woman. ;)
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Champagne, Ale, Beer, Cider and Blue Stuff!
Friday night was nothing but a gentle warm up for Saturday. After a relaxing day taking Joshua to the park and buying books in second hand shops I decided to go completely mental.
Calling around, I realised that most people had gone to the Great British Cheese Festival in Cheltenham. Dan was at home so I arrived on his doorstep with a excellent bottle of Cava. Evil Landlord was interviewing somebody for Nick's old room but had quickly decided that she was not suitable, after turning down free Champagne what can you say.
Dan had arranged to meet some of his ex-workmates in the Mailbox, so we quickly downed a few beers and headed out into the pouring rain and into town. Two policewomen sitting in a car laughed at me as I jumped off the bus and tried to find some to shelter from the torrential downpour.
Bar Room Bar in the Mailbox was pretty quiet and pretty dull too. Dan's friends had not turned up and after one £2.90 crappy lager we thought it was time to move on. We had no idea where we were going to go but I felt I wanted to ROCK!!!!! and suggested The Gallows.
Walking towards the rock bar we heard a fairly decent live band coming from the upstairs room of The Old Vic and made our way in to investigate. After a minute or two of walking into the room a doorman asked me for two pounds, I wanted to know how many more songs this band would be playing, he answered in an uninterested voice 'two!' I pulled a face which suggested that he would not be getting any cash off me and he again asked for money. At this point we left a carried on to The Gallows.
Dan insisted that we drank a foul blue drink that tasted like refreshers, it wasn't as bad as the music however. It was getting quite late and after some cider and some lager it was closing time.
'What next?' we wondered. Not really being in the mood for the dodgy white boy hip hop of Audio Bully's that Dan wanted to see I proposed that we went to the Barfly behind the Sanctuary. Outside was fairly large queue of people waiting to get into the Sanctuary, we walked around the corner to Barfly door which was unmanned and we walked straight inside. After several cheap shots of whiskey and some more cider, Dan discovered that you could walk straight into the Sanctuary which we did.
We both felt extremely old. We walked out. Dan wanted to go to the Rainbow again but as it was nearing two in the morning was closed up. Wandering about for ten minutes trying to decide between Air or the Medicine Bar we noticed music coming from the Vegetarian Restaurant in the Custard Factory and promptly entered.
We gatecrashed a private party. Everybody except us was wearing red. There was a very attractive girl with a red dress and red feather boa who walked up to me and demanded to know who I was. I can't quite remember what I said but I made her laugh and she said I was welcome to stay. The next thing I knew Daniel 'One Track Mind' Dispain was snogging somw woman in the corner of the room. I went back to talk to the girl in the red dress, who told me about her struggle to give up cigarettes. She also wanted to know whether I had seen the man with the stick in his mouth.
At some point in the night Scott and Louise also gatecrashed the party, I was extremely drunk and to their dismay kept hugging them.
Dan disappeared and the next hour our two are completely gone from my mind. I found myself walking down the Pershore Road watching the sun rise, seeing a bus coming and Being lucky enough to be standing next to a bus stop. On the bus were people going to work.
I fed the cat and collapsed in bed.
I have no idea quite how much alcohol I consumed but fear it was likely to be more than the 21 units weekly total...
Calling around, I realised that most people had gone to the Great British Cheese Festival in Cheltenham. Dan was at home so I arrived on his doorstep with a excellent bottle of Cava. Evil Landlord was interviewing somebody for Nick's old room but had quickly decided that she was not suitable, after turning down free Champagne what can you say.
Dan had arranged to meet some of his ex-workmates in the Mailbox, so we quickly downed a few beers and headed out into the pouring rain and into town. Two policewomen sitting in a car laughed at me as I jumped off the bus and tried to find some to shelter from the torrential downpour.
Bar Room Bar in the Mailbox was pretty quiet and pretty dull too. Dan's friends had not turned up and after one £2.90 crappy lager we thought it was time to move on. We had no idea where we were going to go but I felt I wanted to ROCK!!!!! and suggested The Gallows.
Walking towards the rock bar we heard a fairly decent live band coming from the upstairs room of The Old Vic and made our way in to investigate. After a minute or two of walking into the room a doorman asked me for two pounds, I wanted to know how many more songs this band would be playing, he answered in an uninterested voice 'two!' I pulled a face which suggested that he would not be getting any cash off me and he again asked for money. At this point we left a carried on to The Gallows.
Dan insisted that we drank a foul blue drink that tasted like refreshers, it wasn't as bad as the music however. It was getting quite late and after some cider and some lager it was closing time.
'What next?' we wondered. Not really being in the mood for the dodgy white boy hip hop of Audio Bully's that Dan wanted to see I proposed that we went to the Barfly behind the Sanctuary. Outside was fairly large queue of people waiting to get into the Sanctuary, we walked around the corner to Barfly door which was unmanned and we walked straight inside. After several cheap shots of whiskey and some more cider, Dan discovered that you could walk straight into the Sanctuary which we did.
We both felt extremely old. We walked out. Dan wanted to go to the Rainbow again but as it was nearing two in the morning was closed up. Wandering about for ten minutes trying to decide between Air or the Medicine Bar we noticed music coming from the Vegetarian Restaurant in the Custard Factory and promptly entered.
We gatecrashed a private party. Everybody except us was wearing red. There was a very attractive girl with a red dress and red feather boa who walked up to me and demanded to know who I was. I can't quite remember what I said but I made her laugh and she said I was welcome to stay. The next thing I knew Daniel 'One Track Mind' Dispain was snogging somw woman in the corner of the room. I went back to talk to the girl in the red dress, who told me about her struggle to give up cigarettes. She also wanted to know whether I had seen the man with the stick in his mouth.
At some point in the night Scott and Louise also gatecrashed the party, I was extremely drunk and to their dismay kept hugging them.
Dan disappeared and the next hour our two are completely gone from my mind. I found myself walking down the Pershore Road watching the sun rise, seeing a bus coming and Being lucky enough to be standing next to a bus stop. On the bus were people going to work.
I fed the cat and collapsed in bed.
I have no idea quite how much alcohol I consumed but fear it was likely to be more than the 21 units weekly total...
Miserable Poems
I bought a book of William Blake poetry as I is all cultured. It seems that he wrote a great deal of miserable rhymes, I like this one.
Never seek to tell thy Love
Never seek to tell thy love,
Love that never told can be;
For the gentle wind doth move
Silently, invisibly.
I told my love, I told my love,
I told her all my heart,
Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears.
Ah! she did depart!
Soon after she was gone from me,
A traveller came by,
Silently, invisibly:
He took her with a sigh.
Never seek to tell thy Love
Never seek to tell thy love,
Love that never told can be;
For the gentle wind doth move
Silently, invisibly.
I told my love, I told my love,
I told her all my heart,
Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears.
Ah! she did depart!
Soon after she was gone from me,
A traveller came by,
Silently, invisibly:
He took her with a sigh.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Cutting Back on the Booze
This morning I emailed Tim telling him about my resolve to cut down on my alcohol consumption. This lasted less than three hours as I was in the pub at lunch time which gave me the taste for more, by half two I was ready for a night out. Paul was concerned about my lack of plans for the weekend and warned that it would probably end up being a messy one.
I have been eating quite healthily lately but whenever I eat with my mom and dad I always end up having something deep fried. Tonight was no exception and I was feeling quite fat, sick and bloated. ;)
After eating at my parents' house I called on Dan to find him and his evil landlord sharing a bottle of red wine. With good conversation this quickly turned into Catherine, Dan, Evil Landlord and I sharing several bottles of red wine, some vodka and a beer.
About ten Dan and I decided to go the Boiler Room for a german minial techno night but after farting around, missing two trains and drinking more ale we decided that it was too late and cheaper to go to The Rainbow for Doggin'.
We bumped into Emma, apparently it was her thirtieth birthday and she was quite drunk. She had her arms around be and was shouting at anyone who would listen 'I love this bloke'.
An attractive girl, who might have been called Liz, started chatting to me because she thought I looked sad. I think I just probably looked pissed up. She was quite chatty and pleasant and I spent a large part of the evening dancing with her but was too stupid (or too inebriated) to get her phone number. Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero is something that I certaily did not do tonight.
Dan wasn't happy that one of Emma's friends told him to stay away from her, I tried to explain that she was just looking out for her mate (albeit in the wrong manner) but I couldn't convince him.
A fun night indeed.
I have been eating quite healthily lately but whenever I eat with my mom and dad I always end up having something deep fried. Tonight was no exception and I was feeling quite fat, sick and bloated. ;)
After eating at my parents' house I called on Dan to find him and his evil landlord sharing a bottle of red wine. With good conversation this quickly turned into Catherine, Dan, Evil Landlord and I sharing several bottles of red wine, some vodka and a beer.
About ten Dan and I decided to go the Boiler Room for a german minial techno night but after farting around, missing two trains and drinking more ale we decided that it was too late and cheaper to go to The Rainbow for Doggin'.
We bumped into Emma, apparently it was her thirtieth birthday and she was quite drunk. She had her arms around be and was shouting at anyone who would listen 'I love this bloke'.
An attractive girl, who might have been called Liz, started chatting to me because she thought I looked sad. I think I just probably looked pissed up. She was quite chatty and pleasant and I spent a large part of the evening dancing with her but was too stupid (or too inebriated) to get her phone number. Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero is something that I certaily did not do tonight.
Dan wasn't happy that one of Emma's friends told him to stay away from her, I tried to explain that she was just looking out for her mate (albeit in the wrong manner) but I couldn't convince him.
A fun night indeed.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Spanish Love Stories
Watching that Spanish love film has stopped me feeling quite so happy. Not really Mills and Boon after all ;)
Boy meets girl.
Boy falls in love with girl.
Girl thinks boy is reincarnation of dead father.
Girl falls in love with boy.
Boy thinks he has killed his mother by falling in love with girl.
Boy feels guilty.
Girl feels guilty.
Boy and girl part.
Strange coincidences happen.
Girl waits for boy.
Boy crosses world to meet girl.
Girl thinks boy not coming.
Girl dies (or maybe not, its not that clear).
Film ends.
Boy meets girl.
Boy falls in love with girl.
Girl thinks boy is reincarnation of dead father.
Girl falls in love with boy.
Boy thinks he has killed his mother by falling in love with girl.
Boy feels guilty.
Girl feels guilty.
Boy and girl part.
Strange coincidences happen.
Girl waits for boy.
Boy crosses world to meet girl.
Girl thinks boy not coming.
Girl dies (or maybe not, its not that clear).
Film ends.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Feeling Lovely and Silly
I have been feeling in silly mood all day, everything has amused me and I have been quite happy.
I woke up early and instead of going to work early and leaving early I danced around my house to the Kings of Convenience, Kenicke and Nick Cave. I finally left my house with a croissant smeared in strawberry jam near to ten.
At work there was a debate on the radio as to whether trampolines should be banned. This went on for ages, one caller rang in to say that her next door neighbour had placed the kids trampoline next to a spiked iron railing, another spoke of the horrible kids who kept jumping and looking into her front room. The best complaint I heard was about teenager's 'trampoline parties' where they get drunk on cider and jump up and down and laugh. I had giggling fit at work, everyone thought I had gone nuts.
I'm going to punk rock karaoke with Leigh on Nov 5th. I am planning on singing Ever Fallen in Love? by the Buzzcocks. He said that I had to practice though as he didn't want to be embarrassed.
I woke up early and instead of going to work early and leaving early I danced around my house to the Kings of Convenience, Kenicke and Nick Cave. I finally left my house with a croissant smeared in strawberry jam near to ten.
At work there was a debate on the radio as to whether trampolines should be banned. This went on for ages, one caller rang in to say that her next door neighbour had placed the kids trampoline next to a spiked iron railing, another spoke of the horrible kids who kept jumping and looking into her front room. The best complaint I heard was about teenager's 'trampoline parties' where they get drunk on cider and jump up and down and laugh. I had giggling fit at work, everyone thought I had gone nuts.
I'm going to punk rock karaoke with Leigh on Nov 5th. I am planning on singing Ever Fallen in Love? by the Buzzcocks. He said that I had to practice though as he didn't want to be embarrassed.
Monday, October 17, 2005
I got paid for reading the paper and chatting to my colleages this afternoon. The server on which the applications I deal with was broken...I could go into details but that would be dull...anyway I made the most of the chance to do nothing and stayed till six.
I tasted cous cous for the first time, I like it very much.
I walked to the video shop and took out Los Amantes del Círculo Polar. A spanish love story, possibly Joe is right about the Mills and Boon. ;)
I tasted cous cous for the first time, I like it very much.
I walked to the video shop and took out Los Amantes del Círculo Polar. A spanish love story, possibly Joe is right about the Mills and Boon. ;)
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Saturday was a strange one, I woke up feeling shit which was odd as I hadn't drank that much and had had a reasonable amount of sleep. I walked up to my parent's house to collect Joshua only to find that they'd taken him out again. So I decided to go to a car boot sale at the church in Selly Oak. That was a mistake, five cars, all packing up and none of them had anything worth selling anyway.
I returned to my parent's to wait for them to bring Joshua back. Whilst waiting I watched a strange german film about an angel who fell in love with a trapeze artist. She is very lovely and I can quite clearly see why he did (The actress is Solveig Dommartin). On his return my son informed me that he wasn't going to be coming home tonight and was planning on spending another night with my Mom and Dad.
Even though I was feeling shit, it was very sunny and I decided to go to Northfield. This too was a mistake, I started feeling worse. It is always the same when I go there, perhaps I have been conditioned like Pavlov's dogs to feel awful when the bus passes the YMCA. Perhaps, it's just that I only ever feel masochistic when hungover.
Northfield has many delights, Poundland, Be-Wise, many many charity shops and drunks fighting next to the bus stop (and policemen turning a blind eye), the locals are just exquisite. I bought a copy of Ulysses from Oxfam, I'll probably never read it maybe I'll use it as a doorstop (or even step).
I sent Gemma a message telling her that I had seen Neil and Adam the night before, she replied that she was sitting in the sun drinking cava. I decided that I wanted some of that.
Nick had decided to leave a day later but wanted his last night to be as crap as possible to remind him why he was leaving. I took my bubbly around to Nick's house, it was very agreeable. Once that was finished (and also several cans of lager) Nick decided he wanted to go to Harborne.
Joe and Phil were on the bus but were being too ignorant to come and have a drink with Nick on his last night in Birmingham. Nick declared that he wanted to go to all the shitty places where he had spent the last several year's weekends.
We started in The White Horse, Dan and Dave didn't like it and complained from the minute they got in there. Quickly downing pints they rushed off to The Plough. Ten minutes later Dan rang to say he couldn't get in and was going to The Varsity. Nick, Vic and I were a little more leisurely with our drinks. The Varsity was terrible.
Nick expressed his desire to go to The New Inn and to his delight it was shit as ever. (It is Joe's favourite pub but they still wouldn't come for a drink) Nick didn't want to go into town but was persuaded and we went off to catch the bus.
Dave was caught short, he was so desperate that he pressed the emergency door release button and ran up an alleyway on Broad Street. He was unlucky enough to meet a Policewoman who promptly handed him an Anti-Social Behaviour Order. This amused us greatly.
Our final watering hole was The Actress and Bishop. This is not my preferred choice of pub. I find it quite depressing to see that the same arseholes from my drinking past are still in Birmingham and are still the same.
For some unknown reason Dan and I didn't leave with the others. Instead we got talking to two young ladies and spent what seemed like an age wandering around the back streets of town. We left them at their bus stop. And wandered some more, with no clear idea of were we were going. I remember telling Dan that sometimes when I go out for lunch I feel like lying in the middle of the street just to see what people would do and then I lay in the middle of the street.
Dan was taking photos, a couple passed and thought we were some kind of artists, piss artists I fear.
We met the couple again in a chip shop, Dan took pictures of them too. Dan queried the man in the chip shop as to what vegetarian options he had. He responded with 'chicken'.
I don't know what time I arrived back at Dan's house but we continued to drink. Dan expressed his opinion that love was rubbish and that he was glad to be left on the shelf. I am not of the same opinion, I think love is great, huge, immense and can put a fire in a human heart like nothing else. Joe thinks that I have been reading to many Mills and Boon novels.
I returned to my parent's to wait for them to bring Joshua back. Whilst waiting I watched a strange german film about an angel who fell in love with a trapeze artist. She is very lovely and I can quite clearly see why he did (The actress is Solveig Dommartin). On his return my son informed me that he wasn't going to be coming home tonight and was planning on spending another night with my Mom and Dad.
Even though I was feeling shit, it was very sunny and I decided to go to Northfield. This too was a mistake, I started feeling worse. It is always the same when I go there, perhaps I have been conditioned like Pavlov's dogs to feel awful when the bus passes the YMCA. Perhaps, it's just that I only ever feel masochistic when hungover.
Northfield has many delights, Poundland, Be-Wise, many many charity shops and drunks fighting next to the bus stop (and policemen turning a blind eye), the locals are just exquisite. I bought a copy of Ulysses from Oxfam, I'll probably never read it maybe I'll use it as a doorstop (or even step).
I sent Gemma a message telling her that I had seen Neil and Adam the night before, she replied that she was sitting in the sun drinking cava. I decided that I wanted some of that.
Nick had decided to leave a day later but wanted his last night to be as crap as possible to remind him why he was leaving. I took my bubbly around to Nick's house, it was very agreeable. Once that was finished (and also several cans of lager) Nick decided he wanted to go to Harborne.
Joe and Phil were on the bus but were being too ignorant to come and have a drink with Nick on his last night in Birmingham. Nick declared that he wanted to go to all the shitty places where he had spent the last several year's weekends.
We started in The White Horse, Dan and Dave didn't like it and complained from the minute they got in there. Quickly downing pints they rushed off to The Plough. Ten minutes later Dan rang to say he couldn't get in and was going to The Varsity. Nick, Vic and I were a little more leisurely with our drinks. The Varsity was terrible.
Nick expressed his desire to go to The New Inn and to his delight it was shit as ever. (It is Joe's favourite pub but they still wouldn't come for a drink) Nick didn't want to go into town but was persuaded and we went off to catch the bus.
Dave was caught short, he was so desperate that he pressed the emergency door release button and ran up an alleyway on Broad Street. He was unlucky enough to meet a Policewoman who promptly handed him an Anti-Social Behaviour Order. This amused us greatly.
Our final watering hole was The Actress and Bishop. This is not my preferred choice of pub. I find it quite depressing to see that the same arseholes from my drinking past are still in Birmingham and are still the same.
For some unknown reason Dan and I didn't leave with the others. Instead we got talking to two young ladies and spent what seemed like an age wandering around the back streets of town. We left them at their bus stop. And wandered some more, with no clear idea of were we were going. I remember telling Dan that sometimes when I go out for lunch I feel like lying in the middle of the street just to see what people would do and then I lay in the middle of the street.
Dan was taking photos, a couple passed and thought we were some kind of artists, piss artists I fear.
We met the couple again in a chip shop, Dan took pictures of them too. Dan queried the man in the chip shop as to what vegetarian options he had. He responded with 'chicken'.
I don't know what time I arrived back at Dan's house but we continued to drink. Dan expressed his opinion that love was rubbish and that he was glad to be left on the shelf. I am not of the same opinion, I think love is great, huge, immense and can put a fire in a human heart like nothing else. Joe thinks that I have been reading to many Mills and Boon novels.
Friday, October 14, 2005
After a pretty relaxed day at work, I had to rush to Joshua's school for parent's evening. I need not have bothere rushing as they were running late anyway, I spent half an hour listening to Rebecca spout crap to one of the other mothers. After a quick five minutes of singing Joshua's praises his teacher complemented me on my choice of T-Shirt and we were out of there.
My mom and dad took Joshua to Walsall Illuminations, I had the evening free. By eight I started to get the feeling that I was all dressed up with nowhere to go. Dan said he had too much homework to go out, Ben and Ian were in the Country Girl and every time I spoke to them the seemed to be getting increasingly more drunk, I thought it was Nick's last night in Birmingham but he wasn't answering his phone and the circus troupe were playing with their little men.
I'd heard that Caroline was going to The Rainbow so decided to drag my brother there, as I was about to leave Rich rang to say he was going too.
There was twenty minutes before the next bus and The British Oak was across the road therefore we had to jump in for a quick one. We then ran to the co-op to get a beer for the bus.
I was very suprised to see Neil and Adam in the pub, I haven't seen either for quite a long while. They both seemed well. Adam had been drinking Stella and seemed rather drunk but then that is mostly how I remember him anyway. Neil was explaining that internet dating was the future. He said that he met four women who were all willing to bed him on the first date, he then went onto say that they were all nutters. I don't think he sold it too well.
Rich, Adam and Neil were going back to Kidderminster and left around 12.30, the music was Hip Hop and Dancehall, neither of which is particularly great, so after a couple more beers with Matt I decided to head home. Matt had great difficulty finding his bike which was parked about five yards from where we were stood, he probably shouldn't have been riding in the state he was in.
My mom and dad took Joshua to Walsall Illuminations, I had the evening free. By eight I started to get the feeling that I was all dressed up with nowhere to go. Dan said he had too much homework to go out, Ben and Ian were in the Country Girl and every time I spoke to them the seemed to be getting increasingly more drunk, I thought it was Nick's last night in Birmingham but he wasn't answering his phone and the circus troupe were playing with their little men.
I'd heard that Caroline was going to The Rainbow so decided to drag my brother there, as I was about to leave Rich rang to say he was going too.
There was twenty minutes before the next bus and The British Oak was across the road therefore we had to jump in for a quick one. We then ran to the co-op to get a beer for the bus.
I was very suprised to see Neil and Adam in the pub, I haven't seen either for quite a long while. They both seemed well. Adam had been drinking Stella and seemed rather drunk but then that is mostly how I remember him anyway. Neil was explaining that internet dating was the future. He said that he met four women who were all willing to bed him on the first date, he then went onto say that they were all nutters. I don't think he sold it too well.
Rich, Adam and Neil were going back to Kidderminster and left around 12.30, the music was Hip Hop and Dancehall, neither of which is particularly great, so after a couple more beers with Matt I decided to head home. Matt had great difficulty finding his bike which was parked about five yards from where we were stood, he probably shouldn't have been riding in the state he was in.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
I almost had the mother of all freudian slips this morning, I would would say what it is but that would also be a mistake. Luckily I realised and saved myself a whole lot of embarrasment.
I'm fed up of feeling fed up I want to be feeling my normal party monstering self...
-----Original Message-----
From: Alec-Bowman [mailto:Alec.Bowman@*******.com]
Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2005 10:49 AM
To: clifford_54812
Subject: RE: Art Gallery
your blog is quite something.
-----Original Message-----
From: clifford_54812 [mailto:r.clifford@***********.uk]
Sent: 13 October 2005 11:07
To: Alec-Bowman
Subject: RE: Art Gallery
Is it? Its mostly written under the influence and I guess that's why I come across as being so sad lately. :(
-----Original Message-----
From: Alec-Bowman [mailto:Alec.Bowman@*********.com]
Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2005 11:29 AM
To: clifford_54812
Subject: RE: Art Gallery
it does seem sad, yes. but its also very... honest and sort of ... i guess it makes you seem very vulnerable and human, when i often think of you as a huge powerful party monster!!
I'm fed up of feeling fed up I want to be feeling my normal party monstering self...
-----Original Message-----
From: Alec-Bowman [mailto:Alec.Bowman@*******.com]
Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2005 10:49 AM
To: clifford_54812
Subject: RE: Art Gallery
your blog is quite something.
-----Original Message-----
From: clifford_54812 [mailto:r.clifford@***********.uk]
Sent: 13 October 2005 11:07
To: Alec-Bowman
Subject: RE: Art Gallery
Is it? Its mostly written under the influence and I guess that's why I come across as being so sad lately. :(
-----Original Message-----
From: Alec-Bowman [mailto:Alec.Bowman@*********.com]
Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2005 11:29 AM
To: clifford_54812
Subject: RE: Art Gallery
it does seem sad, yes. but its also very... honest and sort of ... i guess it makes you seem very vulnerable and human, when i often think of you as a huge powerful party monster!!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I slept for twelve hours last night and have never felt so tired as I have today. I had nobody to talk to, nothing to and was increasingly pissed off and therefore in (what could probably be described as a sulk) took myself off to bed. Next time I think I shall go for a walk. I couldn't get out of bed this morning and was late for work.
I found myself doodling whilst talking to somebody on the phone, when the call ended I looked at my drawings to see a picture of a man up to his knees sinking in quicksand shouting for help and pictures of people crying. I don't actually remember drawing any of this and I don't know what a psychologist would make of these sketches but maybe I shouldn't have mentioned them for fear of the men in white coats.
I found myself doodling whilst talking to somebody on the phone, when the call ended I looked at my drawings to see a picture of a man up to his knees sinking in quicksand shouting for help and pictures of people crying. I don't actually remember drawing any of this and I don't know what a psychologist would make of these sketches but maybe I shouldn't have mentioned them for fear of the men in white coats.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
I've just got home from the pub, I think I have been driving Joe around the bend talking about how miserable I feel and how shit everything is. Nick had a sunday roast this afternoon, I have been drinking since two this afternoon I am a little worse for wear. I am not looking forward to going to work tomorrow.
There are two other Spiritualized songs that sum up my state of mind at this moment in time, Broken Heart and Home of the Brave. I have been listening to Ladies and Gentlemen we are Floating in Space far too much lately. I am going potty. I shall start listening to Yo La Tengo instead...
There are two other Spiritualized songs that sum up my state of mind at this moment in time, Broken Heart and Home of the Brave. I have been listening to Ladies and Gentlemen we are Floating in Space far too much lately. I am going potty. I shall start listening to Yo La Tengo instead...
Jason Peice is a genius, this song perfectly sums up the way I feel at the moment.
Think I'm in Love
Sun so bright that I’m nearly blind
Cool cos I’m wired and I’m out of my mind
Warms the dope running down my spine
But I don’t care ’bout you and I’ve got nothing to do
Free as the warmth in the air that I breathe
Even freer than dmt
Feel the warmth of the sun in me
But I don’t care ’bout you and I’ve got nothing to do
Love in the middle of the afternoon
Just me, my spike in my arm and my spoon
Feel the warmth of the sun in the room
But I don’t care ’bout you
And I’ve got nothin’
I think I’m in love
Probably just hungry
I think I’m your friend
Probably just lonely
I think you got me in a spin now
Probably just turning
I think I’m a fool for you babe
Probably just yearning
I think I can rock and rool
Probably just twisting
I think I wanna tell the world
Probably ain’t listening
Come on
I think I can fly
Probably just falling
I think I’m the life and soul
Probably just snorting
I think I can hit the mark
Probably just aiming
I think my name is on your lips
Probably complaining
I think I have caught it bad
Probably contagious
I think I’m a winner baby
Probably las vegas
Come on
I think I’m alive
Probably just breathing
I think you stole my heart now baby
Probably just thieving
I think I’m on fire
Probably just smoking
I think that you’re my dream girl
Probably just dreaming
I think I’m the best babe
Probably like all the rest
I think that I could be your man
Probably just think you can
Come on
I think I’m in love
Think I'm in Love
Sun so bright that I’m nearly blind
Cool cos I’m wired and I’m out of my mind
Warms the dope running down my spine
But I don’t care ’bout you and I’ve got nothing to do
Free as the warmth in the air that I breathe
Even freer than dmt
Feel the warmth of the sun in me
But I don’t care ’bout you and I’ve got nothing to do
Love in the middle of the afternoon
Just me, my spike in my arm and my spoon
Feel the warmth of the sun in the room
But I don’t care ’bout you
And I’ve got nothin’
I think I’m in love
Probably just hungry
I think I’m your friend
Probably just lonely
I think you got me in a spin now
Probably just turning
I think I’m a fool for you babe
Probably just yearning
I think I can rock and rool
Probably just twisting
I think I wanna tell the world
Probably ain’t listening
Come on
I think I can fly
Probably just falling
I think I’m the life and soul
Probably just snorting
I think I can hit the mark
Probably just aiming
I think my name is on your lips
Probably complaining
I think I have caught it bad
Probably contagious
I think I’m a winner baby
Probably las vegas
Come on
I think I’m alive
Probably just breathing
I think you stole my heart now baby
Probably just thieving
I think I’m on fire
Probably just smoking
I think that you’re my dream girl
Probably just dreaming
I think I’m the best babe
Probably like all the rest
I think that I could be your man
Probably just think you can
Come on
I think I’m in love
Saturday, October 08, 2005
After a morning doing domestic chores I phoned Dan and dragged him to the pub, after a beer Dan said he had homework (sleeping) and headed back home. I was joined by Nick, Mike and Russ, they talked too much about football and my mind was somewhere else.
After a few too many lagers it was decided that we should eat. A pizza and a few beers and one disgusting Mudshake spilt down myself later I agreed to go to hell on earth. Broad Street is terrible! We went from shithole to shithole. I was chatted up by an eighteen year old student who didn't think I was worth talking to once I told her that I hadn't bothered watching the England game.
My stupid brother was (quite rightly) kicked out of a pub in Brindley Place for calling the bouncer a twat. Nick, Mike and Russ said they were going to Spearmint Rhino which I didn't fancy and headed to The Boiler Room. The Boiler Room was full and was only letting one in one out, I was up for waiting but Edward was getting on my nerves so fucked off home to bed.
I hate nights like this, I should have stayed in.
After a few too many lagers it was decided that we should eat. A pizza and a few beers and one disgusting Mudshake spilt down myself later I agreed to go to hell on earth. Broad Street is terrible! We went from shithole to shithole. I was chatted up by an eighteen year old student who didn't think I was worth talking to once I told her that I hadn't bothered watching the England game.
My stupid brother was (quite rightly) kicked out of a pub in Brindley Place for calling the bouncer a twat. Nick, Mike and Russ said they were going to Spearmint Rhino which I didn't fancy and headed to The Boiler Room. The Boiler Room was full and was only letting one in one out, I was up for waiting but Edward was getting on my nerves so fucked off home to bed.
I hate nights like this, I should have stayed in.
Friday, October 07, 2005
I arranged to meet Rebecca to try and sort out what would happen when we move out, it seemed to go reasonably well. Nothing actually sorted but we actually talked properly for the first time in a while.
I have been thinking of (temporarily) working in Australia for some time, I asked her if I could take Joshua for a year but she said no.
I have been thinking of (temporarily) working in Australia for some time, I asked her if I could take Joshua for a year but she said no.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Nick's leaving party was strange, nobody danced, everyone sat around looking cool. Ben thought I was feeling bitter because I played Dont Think Twice by Bob Dylan, Dan told me off for playing too many sad songs he said that I should get over it - not sure what it is though.
I got extremely drunk, Ben and I took a taxi home, everybody else disappeared.
I got extremely drunk, Ben and I took a taxi home, everybody else disappeared.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Rebecca found some letters that I had been trying to write telling her that I couldn't spend any more time in the house and that she needed to leave. We didn't argue, she didn't say much at all.
I felt very low, I couldn't concentrate at work and people were talking to me but I was incapable of hearing them. I spent the evening listening to sad songs which strangely lightened my mood.
I felt very low, I couldn't concentrate at work and people were talking to me but I was incapable of hearing them. I spent the evening listening to sad songs which strangely lightened my mood.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
I awoke very early again, I watched people run in and out of the rain. I read Gemma's self help books with titles such like 'Life Choices, Life Changes', she also has one by the Barefoot Doctor, he says that a cure for loneliness is to have somebody to hug - which is kind of obvious - as this releases all kinds of chi and helps you relate to others. He also said that you can hug yourself and release this chi. Sounds like quackery to me but an entertaining read all the same.
I was taken to Britain's most easterly point, for some reason the town council allowed a huge fishfinger factory to be built next to it which spoils it somewhat.
After meeting Gemma's family for a Sunday lunch, Tim and Gemma had had enough of me and it was time to go and catch the train (Tim nearly had a heart attack when he thought that I had missed the last train). The journey lasted six hours, I spent most of it rueing my decision to turn down Gemma's mother's offer of a packed lunch because there was no trolley on the train.
I was taken to Britain's most easterly point, for some reason the town council allowed a huge fishfinger factory to be built next to it which spoils it somewhat.
After meeting Gemma's family for a Sunday lunch, Tim and Gemma had had enough of me and it was time to go and catch the train (Tim nearly had a heart attack when he thought that I had missed the last train). The journey lasted six hours, I spent most of it rueing my decision to turn down Gemma's mother's offer of a packed lunch because there was no trolley on the train.
Tim Sad to See Me Leave ;)
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Gemma and Tim took me to Norwich, we had to run for the train. Tim had spent half an hour shaking up a can that he was going to give to Gemma's friend Scott but on realising that we had ran to catch the train he waited a while before opening it, Tim's evil scheme failed.
We had had a fair bit to drink at the flat and on the train so by the time we arrived into Norwich I was already quite drunk. We went to a pub called The Murderers (I have been told since that this is a hang out for football hooligans) where Gemma started asking lots and lots of questions about Rebecca. This had me reflecting on certain things and I started feeling very lonely and unhappy and unfortunately for the next hour or two I couldn't seem to lighten up which made everyone else down too.
We were aiming for a nightclub called The Waterfront but didn't really know which way to go so Tim suggested a swift half in a weatherspoons pub. We must have looked like the three most miserable people in the world at that point. Tim suggested playing the numbers drinking game to lighten the mood but Gemma didn't want to play.
After a bit of walking we found the nightclub and my mood changed instantly, the music inside was drunm'n'bass and old skool rave in a big room downstairs and early nineties indie music upstairs. Gemma swindled me out of a round using her womanly charm. I drank lots of cider.
Tim dropped Scott whilst trying to help him from his wheelchair into the Taxi back to Lowestoft. We phoned Dan and shouted at him down the phone drunkenly.
Gemma made me some toast, I think she dropped it on the floor first.
We had had a fair bit to drink at the flat and on the train so by the time we arrived into Norwich I was already quite drunk. We went to a pub called The Murderers (I have been told since that this is a hang out for football hooligans) where Gemma started asking lots and lots of questions about Rebecca. This had me reflecting on certain things and I started feeling very lonely and unhappy and unfortunately for the next hour or two I couldn't seem to lighten up which made everyone else down too.
We were aiming for a nightclub called The Waterfront but didn't really know which way to go so Tim suggested a swift half in a weatherspoons pub. We must have looked like the three most miserable people in the world at that point. Tim suggested playing the numbers drinking game to lighten the mood but Gemma didn't want to play.
After a bit of walking we found the nightclub and my mood changed instantly, the music inside was drunm'n'bass and old skool rave in a big room downstairs and early nineties indie music upstairs. Gemma swindled me out of a round using her womanly charm. I drank lots of cider.
Tim dropped Scott whilst trying to help him from his wheelchair into the Taxi back to Lowestoft. We phoned Dan and shouted at him down the phone drunkenly.
Gemma made me some toast, I think she dropped it on the floor first.
A drunk Tim using his charms for I know not
Gemma using her charms to swindle me out of beer
I woke up at the crack of dawn (about two hours after going to bed), I felt like waking Tim and Gemma up by shouting 'Do Stuff!' but thought that they might send me home. When the woke up they made me walk till I got blisters, I ran out of clean clothes (due to smelly trains and paddling in the sea at three in the morning) and had to buy a shirt in a charity shop.
A bit later Gemma let me sit down for an orange juice and a rock hard panini.
A bit later Gemma let me sit down for an orange juice and a rock hard panini.
In the afternoon they made me walk even further so I now have even bigger blisters. We went to a pub on the broads and looking out on the water was very nice. Tim decided he wanted cheesy chips, where as Gemma and I decided to have a light bite of omelette. My 'light bite' was piled about ten inches high on the plate, I could only eat about a quarter. Gemma was obviously very hungry, she ate all of hers and then started on mine too.
After some cider in another pub we headed back to the house to drink cava and prepare for the night ahead.
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